A Day in the Mind

A day in the mind:
Desperately trying to get work done for August/ gencon. Am I making fan work? not so much. Am I working on commissions? Not tonight but they are not forgotten. Am I frantic to hurry up and figure out why I've been artblocked and exploring various styles and methods hoping that I'll get back on track and love the process again? yep. Am I worried that for the past few years I've been veering in the wrong direction? sorta. Am I tired of trying to cling onto a dream I once had of being an illustrator after realizing I don't really want said dream? I'm not sure, or I don't want to admit it. Do I want to make large and bizarre ethereal artworks/ environments that hearken to an alternate dimension? *nods vigorously* Do I have the means to do this? yes. Do I have the money/ resources/ available time to do this? Not really. Do I need change? Yes. Are all the smaller artworks I'm making a waste of efforts? No way. Is everything culminating in a big push forward and I'm just impatient for it to just happen already? Yes. Am I worried about whats happening to the world around me? Hell yes. Am I ever going to give up? Hell no.
That is all.

The Cycle Repeats, almost

Well now!! I had written a new blog post last week, but didn't finish it. I re-read my last post from ~too long ago~ only to realize I had expressed nearly the exact feelings of complacent anxieties and unfulfilled self promises, only in different words.
Wow. This is one of the longer cocoon-gestation-periods I've experienced.

I feel that I'm starting to come out of this cocoon phase, but I'm still soft, I'm not sure what I am yet, and most of my appendages are still stuck in this transitional death-sac.

I did do some travel.
I spent new years in Florida with family, and it was amazing.

Then I had a little adventure in California, and it was amazing. I stayed with some friends in Claremont - while my guy David had his own adventure filling in on guitar for the band URN.

It was a fulfilling experience, and a great opportunity to do our own things.
I got to see some California friends, did some networking, and developed a very strong NEED to get out of Indiana.
This however has not sated my cravings, it has only made them stronger!  It has made me realize how much I need to be in a different environment, with a different routine and a different focus. A new chapter is approaching and I am excited for it.

In the meantime, I'm creating art daily, and staying in the creative mindset. I'm not revealing any plans, that would be dangerous. I gotta keep the magic alive right now by keeping it covered and hidden from the wind. This is a delicate but hot flame. I'll see you later when its a roaring bonfire.

~~~
Much love, stay creative friends.

 ~~ I discovered myself Undiscovered, and uncovered myself Undercover ~~